well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
