Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
