I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
