I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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