I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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