I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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