How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
