just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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