If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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