Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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