I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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