I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
