you guys were way drunker than both of me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
