Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
