Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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