someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
