The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
