you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
