Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
