I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
