alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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