I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will be naked everywhere
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize