We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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