So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
