This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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