thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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