You made me cry and you don't even care
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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