your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
