I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so let's talk penis.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
