Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
