I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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