why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
