Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm always down for nudity.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
