high people should be assigned attendants
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
