shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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