soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
