ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I currently don't understand fingers.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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