I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
