Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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