This is not my ceiling
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
