I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
