...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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