i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
