some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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