dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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