we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
