I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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