you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
