I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
