I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
