South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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