If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
