Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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