it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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