that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
