My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
