I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
